top of page

Screenplay Feedback

Welcome to my Screenplay Feedback page—a space where I share professional insights and critiques on my screenwriting work. Here, you’ll find feedback from industry professionals highlighting the strengths, potential, and unique qualities of my scripts.

This page is not just about showcasing praise; it’s a testament to my growth as a writer and my commitment to crafting compelling stories for the screen. Whether you’re curious about my approach or considering collaborating, these reviews offer a glimpse into how my work resonates with those in the industry.

Take a look, and get to know my storytelling through the eyes of the professionals who’ve experienced it firsthand.

Wayward

Logline : A six-episode mystery-thriller set in Doolin, Ireland. A missing girl, buried secrets, and echoes of folklore collide in this slow-burn tale of justice, guilt, and the price of unpaid debts. Think Broadchurch meets True Detective with an Irish twist.

Strengths

  1. Original Premise:
     

    • Wayward stands out for its unique integration of Irish folklore and the Pied Piper myth into a modern mystery setting. The subtle supernatural undertones, paired with a grounded procedural framework, create a story that feels fresh yet timeless.
       

  2. Atmosphere and Setting:
     

    • The vividly depicted coastal village of Doolin becomes a character in itself. The use of natural landmarks like cliffs, caves, and stone circles enhances the story's tension and visual appeal, offering a cinematic experience.
       

  3. Character Depth:
     

    • Garrett and Meadhbh’s dynamic is well-developed, balancing their professional partnership with personal tension. Their emotional arcs add depth, while secondary characters like Ailish, Rhona, and Liam provide intrigue and complexity.
       

  4. Themes with Impact:
     

    • The exploration of gender dynamics, systemic sexism, and moral ambiguity is timely and engaging. Liam’s role as a morally gray antagonist tied to folklore raises thoughtful questions about justice and retribution.
       

  5. Slow-Burn Pacing:
     

    • The deliberate pacing allows for strong character development and builds an immersive atmosphere. The gradual escalation of supernatural elements keeps the audience intrigued without overwhelming the grounded narrative.

Areas for Improvement

  1. Pilot Hook:
     

    • While the pilot sets up the mystery effectively, the supernatural element tied to Liam is very subtle. Making his enigmatic nature slightly more apparent early on could strengthen the hook for audiences and industry professionals.

 

  1. Dialogue:
     

    • The dialogue serves its purpose but occasionally feels minimal. Adding a few memorable lines could elevate character distinctiveness and emotional resonance.
       

  2. Foreshadowing and Payoff:
     

    • The series could benefit from stronger foreshadowing of Liam’s connection to the folklore aspect. This would make the final revelation more impactful while maintaining the series' subtlety.
       

  3. Supporting Characters:
     

    • Some supporting characters, like Conor and Sean, could be explored further to add layers to their motivations and their role in the town's collective guilt.

Marketability

  • Comparable Series: Broadchurch, True Detective, The Outsider
     

    • Wayward fits well within the market for atmospheric thrillers that balance realism with subtle supernatural elements. Its limited series format is ideal for streaming platforms or networks focusing on high-quality drama.
       

  • Target Audience:
     

    • Viewers drawn to character-driven mysteries with moody, evocative settings and a focus on societal themes.

Overall Assessment

Wayward is a compelling, slow-burn mystery with rich thematic depth and a unique mythological twist. While minor adjustments to pacing, dialogue, and character development could enhance its impact, the series demonstrates strong potential for industry appeal. Its originality and atmospheric storytelling make it a standout project in the mystery-thriller genre.

bottom of page